by Carl Sternheim, adapted by Steve Martin

Directed by Amy Sellars

Tuesday, January 7 & Thursday, January 9, 2020-8:00 pm The Grange Hall 29-20 Fair Lawn Ave, Fair Lawn, NJ

THE PLOT: Louise and Theo Markes, a couple whose conservative existence is shattered when Louise's bloomers fall down in public. Though she pulls them up quickly, he thinks the incident will cost him his job as a government clerk. Louise's momentary display does not result in the feared scandal but it does attract two infatuated men, each of whom wants to rent the spare room in the Markes' home. Oblivious of their amorous objectives, Theo splits the room between them, happy to collect rent from both the foppish poet and the whiny hypochondriac. (4M, 2F)

THEO MASKE: A burly, muscular fireplug with a buzz cut

LOUISE MASKE: Very pretty, mid-twenties, Theo’s wife

GERTRUDE DEUTER: Forty-two, and a busybody

FRANK VERSATI: An elegant gentleman

BENJAMIN COHEN: Sickly, thin, asthmatic

KLINGLEHOFF: An elderly man

For script/sides request, please email


by Neil Simon

Directed by Peter Curley

Tuesday, March 10 & Thursday March 12, 2019-7:30 pm The Grange Hall, 29-20 Fair Lawn Ave., Fair Lawn, NJ

THE PLOT: A delightful romantic fable about an idealistic schoolteacher, Leon Tolchinsky, the townspeople of a remote Ukrainian village who are all "fools" because of the curse put on the town two hundred years ago, a dastardly Count, and Sophia, the enchanting young pupil whom Leon vainly sets out to educate in hopes of lifting the spell but winds up falling in love with instead.

LEON TOLCHINSKY: (Male 20's-40's) a young, idealistic schoolmaster, a large role involving much interaction with the audience. He is a bright and industrious schoolteacher eager to make a difference. He comes to the town of Kulyenchikov to replace the previous schoolmaster. Leon’s eagerness does not prevent him from being impatient with the limitations of Kulyenchikov’s residents.

SOPHIA ZUBRITSKY : (Female 20's-30's) Not very bright daughter of Dr. Zubritsky and Lenya. The lovely young girl whom Leon must teach and with whom he falls in love.

SNETSKY: (Male or Female 20's-50's) an inept shepherd who has lost his/her sheep. He/She does not know their own first name. As a result, he/she refers to himself/herself as Something Something Snetsky.

THE MAGISTRATE: (Male 50's-70's) runs the town and performs marriages. He is an elderly official in the town of Kulyenchikov. He is among the first to meet Leon and eventually presides over his wedding to Sophia.

SLOVITCH: (Male or Female 20'-50's) the town butcher. He/She befriends Leon along with Mishkin and Yenchna. Late in the play, as Sophia and Leon are about to be married, Slovitch raises the concern that some members of the town might have been dumb even without the curse. Once the curse is lifted, Slovitch finds that he/she is simply not very bright.

MISHKIN: (Male or Female 20's-50's) the town postman. Mishkin delivers a letter of great importance to Leon.

YENCHNA: (Female 40's-60's) a vendor. Yenchn is never sure what she is selling. She frequently refers to her flowers as fish simply because the fisherman did not catch any.

DR. ZUBRITSKY: (Male 40's-60's) Sophia’s father. Dr. Zubritsky is also the town physician. He is married to Lenya and demonstrates slightly more acumen than his wife does. More than the other townspeople, Dr. Zubritsky seems to understand Leon’s predicament. Despite his own limited abilities, he tries his best to be of service to Leon.

LENYA ZUBRITSKY: (Female 40's -60's) Sophia’s mother. Lenya Zubritsky is Dr. Zubritsky’s meddlesome wife. Lenya is easily excitable and is arguably the most invested in the future of the town of Kulyenchikov. She is also the most invested in Sophia’s happiness with Leon. She initially seems to be one of the town’s dimmest residents, making more mistakes than the others.

COUNT GREGOR YOUSEKEVITCH: (Male 30's-40's) The Count who rules over Kulyenchikov. The descendent of the man who placed the curse on the town, wants to marry Sophia in hopes of breaking the curse.

For side requests, please email